I Am Praying and Praying, But Nothing Is Happening!

Have you been praying and praying for something to happen? Are you finding it difficult to wait for the answer to your prayers? There are times when we pray and pray for God to move, yet it seems as though nothing is happening. Our heartache continues and we try to hold on to hope, but we get weary. We feel our will begin to break and the doubt starts to creep in. It can be very difficult to carry a burden over an extended period of time. What is the best thing to do in this situation?

pray and pray



Lay it down. Make the decision to let it go. Not to give up hope, but to lay it down at the feet of Jesus. What we find is by doing that, the burden lifts, and God pulls us out of the darkness. He renews our hope and brings us into the future that He has for us. He is capable of turning around any situation. So I encourage you to lay it down.

Do you like this song? You can get the audio CD here.

Have you ever experienced something change when you decide to lay it down? Tell us about it in the comments.

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The Phoenix Marriage – Book Review and Giveaway!

book cover

Kyle and Tammy have been through some real marital struggles. But through it all, God has never failed them. Kyle and Tammy are on a mission to build others up because they know what it’s like to be torn down. God restores families, and like many of us who have experienced the restoring power of God, Kyle and Tammy have used their struggle as a launching pad for a beautiful ministry.

Journey of Healing Together
There were many things working against restoration in their situation. Having a blended family is very stressful in itself. Add to that business travel, financial pressure, the stress of building a new house, and the devastation of infidelity. Most would think there was no hope for reconciliation. But while they were on the road to divorce, God intervened. And it is truly amazing what God’s love and grace will do to someone who is overwhelmed with guilt and shame. I believe that this book would be a great encouragement for those who may have given up hope that their marriage could be renewed.

Gods Grace Is Powerful
The Phoenix Marriage: God Creates Beauty Out of Ashes is a resource that will benefit any marriage. Full of practical tips that can be implemented quite easily, The Phoenix Marriage informs the reader of the natural arc of relationships and provides tangible actions that couples can take to cooperate with God in the renewal process. Each chapter ends with a set of questions that provoke personal application of concepts in order to reinforce the ideas presented in the chapter. The book is complete with a great collection of tools, resources, and testimonies of marriage renewal.

Emotional or Physical
Being one who was betrayed by infidelity, I found it interesting to read from the perspective of the one who committed adultery. I have a support group for betrayed spouses, and it is common for the betrayed spouse to be in shock and disbelief as they struggle to make sense of the choices that were made by their spouse. I receive messages from betrayed spouses frequently asking why their spouse is suddenly cold and distant and pushing for divorce. Reading The Phoenix Marriage gave me insight into the mind of the unfaithful spouse.


I also appreciate the author’s desire to bring awareness regarding the dangers of having a close friendship with a member of the opposite sex. Innocent friendships can easily become a destructive virus that infects the mind of the unfaithful spouse. If this awareness can prevent one person from having an affair, then it is all worth it.

Renewed Marriage
The author has a way of capturing feelings and experiences that all married people can relate to. He also offers concrete actions that couples can take in order to hold on to the truth when the enemy attacks their minds. While reading this book, I found myself frequently thinking, “That makes a lot of sense.” I recommend this practical resource for all married couples.

giveaway
We are giving away a copy of this book! The giveaway will start on Saturday, November 1 and will end at midnight on Monday, November 3. To enter, go here.

If you want to buy your own copy of The Phoenix Marriage, you can get one here.

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Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers – Book Review

Walk into any Christian bookstore, and the sheer amount of books displayed on the shelves can be overwhelming. How does one know which book to pick? When reading Christian fiction, we don’t want mere entertainment. We tend to look for that book that will inspire us and challenge us in our faith, that book that will powerfully tug at the heart strings.

Over the years, I have read Internet discussions on what the top Christian books of all time are. When it comes to Christian fiction, Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers is almost always on the list. It was first published in 1991, yet it still tops many people’s favorites list. I decided to purchase the book to find out what it was that everyone loved about it.

Redeeming Love Redeeming Love Quote
This book is inspired by the Bible book of Hosea. I love the story of Hosea and Gomer. God told Hosea to find a wife, and this wife was a prostitute. Hosea falls madly in love with the prostitute Gomer. They get married and have children. She ends up leaving him and going back to her old ways. She falls on hard times and ends up getting sold into slavery.

Most people would rejoice at this and say that she got what she deserved, but not Hosea. Hosea never stopped loving her, no matter how low she sank. He even went so far as to redeem her out of slavery. The book of Hosea illustrates God’s unfailing love for us, that while we were yet sinners with our backs turned to Him, while we were unfaithful to Him, He still blessed us and cared for us and made a way of redemption for us. Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers is inspired by this story.

I encounter people daily who are struggling to forgive their spouse for marital infidelity. Most would say Gomer did not deserve forgiveness. Most would say my husband did not deserve forgiveness when he had an affair. But do any of us deserve forgiveness? It is not about whether we deserve forgiveness, for God’s loving-kindness is undeserved. That is the whole point of grace. It amazes me when I think about how God never leaves us, no matter how we reject Him.  He never forsakes us.

So if you want to read a story that will make you think about the amazing love that God has for us, the love that “never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance” (1 Corinthians 13:7 NLT), then I would suggest that you read Redeeming Love. God is always willing to forgive. His love is a healing love, and this is the kind of love that will make a marriage thrive. My husband said my willingness to forgive him and to love him after all of the pain he put me through taught him a valuable lesson about God’s love for us.

So I encourage you to pick up a copy of Redeeming Love, and “may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope” (Romans 15:3 ESV).

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You’ll Get Through This: Hope and Help for Your Turbulent Times by Max Lucado – Book Review

I have a support group on Facebook called Christians Surviving Marital Infidelity. I also have an email subscriber list for easing the pain of infidelity. Every day I receive messages from people all over the world who are brokenhearted and struggling with intense emotional pain. I immediately connect with each person because I have been there. I understand the pain that they are feeling. I want so much to take that pain away, to offer the most uplifting and comforting words that I can muster. I pray for each one, and I read uplifting Christian books in search of the gems that truly bring encouragement in the midst of the intense heartaches that we all face at some point in our lives.


I am a big fan of Max Lucado’s work, and I highly recommend his book You’ll Get Through This: Hope and Help for Your Turbulent Times. In true Lucado fashion, he writes in a tone that makes you feel as if you are having a conversation with a real friend. I am inspired to live my life with my eyes focused on godly principles, and I challenge you to join me. Using biblical truth, Lucado empowers the reader to depend on God and to not just endure, but to actually thrive in spite of the painful situations in which we find ourselves. This book is a wonderful respite from the materialistic culture that we live in, and the reader will find renewed hope to keep going, even in situations where it seems there is no light at the end of the tunnel.

youll get through this

What are some other books that you have found to be uplifting during a crisis?

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My Marriage Story by Tammy Gabhart

Today I would like to introduce Kyle and Tammy Gabhart. They have a Christian ministry called Equip Your Marriage. Tammy is sharing her marriage story:

Kyle headshot

November 7, 2012 my life would start on a journey I never expected! It was early in the morning and I had my suitcase in hand waiting on my sister for a trip to visit family members in Tucson. Kyle had been traveling a lot and the night before, he had been away on business. He got up that morning and I could tell that something didn’t seem “normal.” I asked him what was wrong and he told me “nothing,” but I kept pressing him, and all of the sudden he admitted to me that he was not happy in our marriage. I was SHOCKED, hurt, baffled, and totally thrown off my path.

Fast forward a month and our lives were completely shattered. My children and I moved in with my parents and I was looking at divorce…again. I was heartbroken. Kyle was my “dream man,” my “soul mate,” how did this happen? Through some of Kyle’s Facebook posts, (who posts love songs while you are about to go through a divorce?) and through an old phone with some forgotten texts, I found out Kyle was having an affair. He was seeing a co-worker. THAT was like a sharp knife through my heart and out my back. I was in complete and utter shock.

Fast forward on December 16, 2012. We were to meet at Starbucks to split the assets, which wasn’t a lot seeing how we were coming up on our 3 year Anniversary in a couple of weeks. When we met for coffee, he had no idea I had found out about his affair. People were telling me to keep my mouth shut because I was desperate for the money he was going to give me to get back on my feet. BUT, the Lord had other plans. I ignored people’s advice and I confronted him. He was like a deer in headlights. He lied at first, then he admitted it, but said it had only happened once. Finally he came clean and confessed. I couldn’t understand what was happening to me, but I felt like the Lord filled me with so much grace that I was willing to take him back and work on it. The next day he asked me to lunch. I walked into the home I had just moved out of a couple weeks earlier and there he was, down on one knee with a rose in his hand. He said that if I would take him back, he would spend all of 2013 making it up to me. That’s exactly what he did!

The next year was the worst and also the best year of our marriage. God redeemed us both in ways we couldn’t quite imagine. We got real, we got raw, and we got down and dirty cleaning out our respective closets. We started learning what marriage was really about and laying a new foundation for our relationship. But there was a lot of hurt to work through. I spent hours crying the pain away. Many days Kyle found me curled up on the bathroom floor sobbing and wondering what to do with all the hurt. There were days I spent searching his emails and texts, trying to make sure he was not in contact with her. I was paranoid beyond words. I lost every ounce of trust I had for him. I didn’t believe the words he spoke, but I did trust God.

God met us in a profound way. Through mentors, prayer partners at church, and scripture, God had given us hope for our future together. I knew that through this pain that I was experiencing, God would make something beautiful out of it….and He did. He taught us how to communicate and how to listen to one another’s feelings. We learned that if we keep HIM first, He would heal us. It’s a long process, but he continues to heal us every day! God has created beauty out of our ashes. I’ve not completely forgiven Kyle and I’m not 100% healed, but I’m close.

Kyle photo

You can learn more about Kyle and Tammy by visiting their site here.   You can get your copy of The Phoenix Marriage here.  They also have a weekly podcast called Love & Laughter here.

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Lift Up Your Marriage

Today’s guests on the blog are Brian and Jules Suman.  They have a website called “Became One” which focuses on Christian marriage and the fact that a strong marriage must be deeply rooted in God’s word.

Brian Headshot

This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined with his wife, and the two are united into one. – Genesis 2:24

God needs to be the center of every marriage because that is how he intended it to be. Something Jules and I didn’t understand or allow to be the center in our first marriages. We were both raised in church throughout our younger years but none of those experiences transpired into a real relationship with Jesus and it didn’t result in either of us following God’s commands for our lives. Our lives and marriages were of selfish nature and we fulfilled voids in our life with material things and things of the world until it all ended.

We met by a God appointed rendezvous when we were at our lowest. Our first marriages both ended on the heals of infidelity and we were both broken. We didn’t know where to turn but our hearts finally began to speak to us and they whispered that we need to return home. We need to return to our Creator. On a Sunday in the winter of 2009, we were drawn to the same row in a church service of over 2,000 people. We were drawn together by God.

It was from that very moment that the grace of God began to fill into the voids of our lives and direct our future steps. There has not been a single day since that first meeting that God has not been a strong presence in our decisions and the light for our steps. He began to free us both from past strongholds which included physical abuse and porn addiction and he nurtures the healing of our hearts continuously till this day. He has shown us how we are to be loved and He is teaching us to allow Him to love the other through us as a spouse. He began to show us more and more that He brought us together for a reason, His reason, and if we are to experience marriage as it was intended we needed to be a trinity.

In December of 2012, Jules and I wed and this time the vows that so many other couples read at weddings meant something different to us. The ceremony was so different and the aura among the two of us radiated. We knew God was ever so present at our ceremony. That He was listening as we made a covenant to each other. This was much more than just being ‘married’. It was our commitment that God will be in it from the beginning and that our covenant was as much with Him as it was each other. He comes first. He is the light in our marriage.

And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. – Ephesians 5:21 

Over the last two years, we have been faced with so many hard issues that we didn’t expect including blending a family of five children and past hurts from our previous marriages that have strained us to point of despair and exhaustion. But through it all and even when we don’t even know how to communicate with each other we know that this season will pass and that we have made a covenant with God. Something so much stronger than with each other. See, God has already saved our marriage multiple times in just such an infant amount of time and He will continue to do so. Without that commitment to Him, you risk making decisions that are selfish and you search for answers outside of the relationship and with whom you said “for better or for worse” to. God is amazing in His power and we pray that so many other couples would allow him to work in their marriage so that they could see and experience His love and will for your life.

Some ask, “is marriage intended to make you happy or holy”? I believe God wants both for your marriage but you have to give him the authority. You have to lift up your marriage to Him and release control.

Brian & Jules Suman

Brian 1

“We believe that one of the greatest reflections of Christ’s love for the church is a Christian marriage. One that must be deeply rooted in God’s word and though we all have different circumstances and experiences with our marriage, we are not unique to the purpose and will that God has always intended for us all.” — http://becameone.com

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Are You Restoring a Marriage After Infidelity?

If you are restoring a marriage that has been tarnished by infidelity, I need to hear from you. Please take a moment to offer your input. I will read each and every reply, and I thank you for taking the time to give me your thoughts.  Please answer a few questions by clicking here.

 

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In His Way

I would like to introduce you to Rebecca Duvall. We have very similar stories, and God has given us both a desire to help people who are dealing with the devastation of adultery. She is our guest on the blog today:

Rebecca

About three years ago I heard the gentle whisper of God saying He wanted me to share with others my struggles. He wanted me to write how He helped me overcome my trials as I walked through them. At first I laughed and blew it off. Yes, I use to do that when God first asked me to do something I’ve never done before. Especially if it’s something I’ve never even considered doing. Then as He usually does, He continued to remind me what He wanted me to do, until I sat down and talked to Him about it.

My excuses not to write my story were endless.

• I’m not good at writing
• I don’t know proper grammar to write a book
• I don’t know what to write about
• Who cares about my life and what I’m going through
• I don’t have time to write
• I don’t know the first thing about writing a book

As I gave God all of my excuses, which I thought were pretty good ones, He continued to tell me what I was to do. Once I finally decided to try, not because I wanted to, but because I wanted to show God how I couldn’t, He either put people in my path, or directed me to people, who would help and encourage me to write.

Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen. Hebrews 13:20-21

It’s been an amazing three years! I feel blessed by the many wonderful people God has brought alongside me to complete the task of writing my story. Actually, it’s not just my story. It’s a story about family, marriage and coming to faith. So it’s my family’s story, written in my perspective. Below is the brief description of the book, which you’ll find on the back cover of, ‘In His Way’.

Throughout much of my married life, I lived under the illusion that I had it all together – it was everyone else that needed fixing. Several years into my second marriage my husband, a Deputy Sheriff, became a workaholic and was never home. Meanwhile, I became a volunteeraholic, too busy to face the fact that we had become two strangers under one roof, raising three kids.

God revealed Himself to me through the different women I volunteered with. As my heart slowly opened to God’s presence, my marriage came crashing down around me. As I cried out for God’s help, I discovered my husband’s affair. I found myself surrounded by faithful people who gave me the strength to face the problems in my marriage and the tools needed to begin fixing it.

Over the next four years, my husband’s health deteriorated and he was forced to retire. Through this God continually showed me I was In His Way and then, when He knew He had my attention, He would proceed to show me how to do things In His Way. In the end, what God told me to do, saved my husband’s life, and our marriage. What was broken is now fixed by the grace and love of God.

I wrote this book for God and now I give it to Him, trusting it will be read by everyone He wishes to read it. My hope is that it helps others understand the love God has for them. I hope it turns people to God and the beautiful life He has planned for them. I hope it helps others get out of God’s way so they too can do things In His Way.

My book is now available on Amazon in paperback and ebook (Kindle). If you choose to read it, I would appreciate it if you would leave a review on Amazon. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

Rebecca book

You can get your copy of Rebecca’s book by clicking here.

You can also get to know more about Rebecca by going to her blog at http://inhisway.net

 

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Praise Him

I have been right where you are today. It is in those times when you feel dry and powerless that it is so important to praise God anyway. I know it sounds crazy, but praise is a powerful spiritual weapon against the enemy. You might not feel like you have a reason to praise God, but He hasn’t changed. He will provide. You are more than a conqueror in Him. That hasn’t changed. He is still God. Therefore, we always have a reason to worship Him regardless of our circumstance.

Try it. Praise Him…not because you feel like it, but because you have made a decision to praise Him in the midst of the storm. I promise you that He will be there. He inhabits the praises of His people. We enter His courts with praise. Do not let the enemy beat you up. Declare your victory by faith regardless of your circumstance.

Like this song?  You can purchase it here.

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I’ve Learned in Laughter or in Pain How to Survive

Dealing with the aftermath of adultery was the most difficult thing I have ever been through. It was so tiring, and I struggled with the passage of time. The devil tried to wear me down, and many times I felt like just giving up. But I learned the secret to survival regardless of circumstance. When I get on my knees in humility and allow myself to be completely broken before God, this amazing power fills my soul with light. I can’t explain it, but I know He’s there. The darkness fades away, and there is nothing but light. And God changes me from the inside out. Are you going through a dark time? I encourage you to use this time to bow down before God in humility and allow His power to flow through you. You will never be the same.

Like this song?  You can purchase it here.

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